To every human relations, communicate to other people is very important. Sign language develop for deaf people, because everyone surely need to communicate in any other ways even if they can't hear. So, as a normal people communication is very important.
Landing role as a trailing spouse can trigger life's most fundamental questions such as: "Who am I?".. we no longer identified by any job title although we tend to fill so many roles as a woman: a mother, a friend, a wife, a lover.. Sometimes fulfilling the needs of them self appears very low down the priority list, especially in the potentially isolating environment of a new country and a new home, we easily forget ourself, what we want, what we need sometimes looks unimportant.
Many women will mask their real needs with busyness... learning new things, enrolled in classes, volunteering, running kids around (like what I did..) or some women busy "socializing", accepting every invitations, shopping, etc... you achieve a veneer satisfaction, but there's hurt and loss inside, which is not sustainable, and when we realized all the excitements are gone then we reach a point where we could possibly think:
"So, this is it?..". To play all our important roles as a woman mentioned above, we need to be complete as an individual.
Be aware of how our lives change, "He" still goes to work, has a professional support network, has objectives. "She" is at home, knows no-one, and has to find all her own answers. "He" thinks she has it easy, no need to work, flexible free hours, while "He" has to endure long days in the office, deal with staff, waiting for hours in airport lounges... and "She" thinks he has the whole day - if not weeks without the kids, has more exciting life. Now you see how perceptions may vary, so communicate.. communicate.. communicate. Talk early, talk regularly and evaluate your motivations, be specific, everyone in the family should be clear of what their expectations and what to expect.
Since going to school, whether it's in école Bachet de Pesay where she went before, or here at her new school, Annisa has a "Cahier de Vie" it's some kind of a "scrap book" the school gives the students to bring home every weekends. In the scrap book, her teacher will tell us what the kids were doing during weekdays at school complete with pictures, and in return the kids also have to tell a story in the class what they were doing during weekends. It's become our homework too as parents.. just like tonight, when Annisa already fell asleep, husband reminded me: "you haven't done your homework..".. oh, well.. Annisa is lucky, her mom used to blog and photoblogging.. so it's an easy peasy job to do, no worries.. her cahier de vie are ready for tomorrow.
